It started with a lie, deceit and deception from Heather Killebrew, before I even called her, the very first time. I looked her up on google after she messaged me on MATCH in Mid-November of 2017, right before Thanksgiving. The results showed that she was a Real Estate agent, which was untrue, misleading and false. She had been, at one time, but hadn’t been for a long while before November of 2017 and up until August 1st of this year, still wasn’t. It was the start and beginning of many more.
I just want out of this drama. I’m my worst enemy. I engaged in it with you. This had no place to go and there was never any chance it could. There just was nowhere to go. I’ve grown indifferent and just want out of the drama of it all.
I fear your temper, rage, anger, hate and hostility. My boys future is on the line and your hate and dislike of me knows no bounds or depths. It is where you at with me and you feel the way you feel. I fear you.. what you wrote the other night was disturbing, demeaning, distressing and disgusting. It was full of pure hate, rage and anger. Largely made up and full of exaggeration and pure fabrication.
I just want out and not to be continuously punished for it. I fear you and your temper. I do. I’m afraid of you and your need to punish me. I pose no threat to you, will not interfere in your life and wish you would and could do the same for me.
I just want peace, harmony, balance and happiness and hope you will not interfere with that and let me be. Those things are not possible with you or this in my life in anyway. You are not any reason or responsible for my troubles or problems, as I am not a reason or responsible for any of yours.
I fear you, so, I ask for your mercy to just let me be without any interference from you or by you. I ask for mercy for my boys sake. They have endured and suffered enough. So, please, let it go.
8:28 AM 07/22/21
I am afraid and fear you. I’m sorry you don’t believe how depressed and down I am, but I am. I’m caught in your hate, rage, anger and hostility with my boys future and my freedom in your hands and control. It is pure fear, which keeps me doing this. I am afraid of you and your temper and need to punish me. I am under intense duress, distress, despair and live in fear of you every second of everyday, since I answered your call. I am turning into an alcoholic and drowning in this. I am as down as a person can be. I fear and am afraid of you. Your hate knows no limits or bounds, none. I am afraid of you. That is what it is. I am afraid of you and live in fear of you and your hate every second of everyday.
10:33 AM 07/22/21
I am frightened, afraid and fear you and your temper. Your hate is endless. What you wrote the other night was beyond disturbing, demeaning, denigrating, dishonest and disgusting. It was pure hate spewed out of pure rage and anger. Your temper frightens me. I am afraid of you and fear your hate.
Just show mercy for my kids. They need me. Have some compassion and sympathy for them, at least. They have endured enough.
8:11 PM 07/22/21
I had sex with no one, but you. No one. Had no fuck buddies.. so vile, so disgusting and dishonest. Complete fabrication and distortion. You frighten me. I am afraid of you and your “imagination”. I fear you. I am afraid of you and that temper of yours. I am afraid of you. You scare me. You know no limits, bounds or restrictions. You demean others to make yourself .. I fear you. You scare me.
8:32 PM 07/22/21
I was cheated on by [ Name Redacted ] with her ex-boyfriend Tom and I stayed until she left. I was cheated on over and over again by [ Name Redacted ], I walked away. She was a rebound from [ Name Redacted ]. I was cheated on by [ Name Redacted ] for pills and I stayed. My loyalty, faithfulness and devotion have caused me great pain and anguish, so when I was self-destructing I attempted to destroy what had hurt me so much in my lifetime and when it came down to it, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t and didn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. It was not my penis that had hurt me so much, it was others, not mine. That’s why you wood chipper analogy is off base and incorrect. I have been cheated on and know how badly it sucks and stinks. I know. I couldn’t do it, even as tucked up as I was and hell bent on self-destructing and destroying myself.
I never, not once, not ever, never. None of this matters, as, I fear and am afraid of you and your temper. But truth is truth and not your distorted view of it. I never, not once, not ever, never.
9:04 PM 07/22/21
I am afraid of you. I am frightened by you. I am scared of you. I think you are that person, your words and actions, time and time again prove that I should be. Your hate, need for revenge and the need to keep on punishing me Is apparent.
I am afraid, fear, frightened and scared of you and your temper.
11:07 PM 07/22/21